Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?
by Jedi Bubbles
Summary: Themes 76 through 81 from fanfic100. Kyp Durron is getting stalked, only he doesn't know it. Poor boy.
1. Who?

**Title:** Who?  
**Author:** Jedi Bubbles  
**Rating:** PG  
**Period:** post or during NJO  
**Genre:** one-shot  
**Summary:** This is spawned from the #76 theme: Who? of the Ultimate Fanfic Challenge. As I said before, I'm not formally entering but just seeing if I can do it. Oh, and it's mainly about Kyp. I wrote it while suffering from an overdose of summer homework.

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"Hey, who's that?"

"Who's who?"

"The hot dark-haired guy talking to Jaina Solo?"

"Oh, that's Kyp Durron."

"No!"

"No what?"

"That can't be Kyp Durron!"

"Why not?"

"Kyp Durron can't be that hot!"

"Why not?

"My brother told me he breathes fires, sings off-key, eats Kowakian lizard monkeys for breakfast, and is about forty-five seasons."

"That makes no sense. I'm pretty sure he can't breathe fire and Kowakian lizard monkeys aren't good for human digestion. And he has a lovely singing voice."

"How would you know?"

"He wandered his way into the med-ward once when he was drunk. He sang that he was looking for pain killers for tomorrow morning and some other songs. I think he should try to get a record deal. Now, for your last point, Kyp Durron may be slightly old but the only sign of age is the silver at his temples. I personally think it makes him look distinguished."

"Oh."

"And he has a nice butt."

As the previously mentioned Jedi walked past, both women leaned over to appreciate the view.

"You're right. It is nice."

Fin

…headdesk_…_ Now that I've typed this up, it isn't as funny as it was this morning. Oh well, I'm going to post it anyways.


	2. What?

**Title:** What?  
**Author:** Jedi Bubbles  
**Rating:** PG  
**Period:** NJO or post NJO  
**Genre:** one-shot  
**Summary:** Basically the same as "Who?" only this one is based off of theme #77: What? Hence the title.

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"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I saw him."

"Saw who?"

"Kyp Durron."

"What?"

"I saw Kyp Durron. I held the turbo-lift for him. He said 'thanks'."

"Wow."

"Guess what else?"

"What?"

He asked for directions to a tap café. I gave 'em to him. He said 'thanks' again."

"Wow!"

"And he said that he like my hat."

"Wow!"

"I got another look at his butt when he was leaving."

"What! Really?"

"I think he's been working out lately."

"Got a holo?"

"What a kind of woman do you take me for? Of course I have one!"

"Is he giving a thumbs up?"

"What are you talking about?"

Both women crowded around the holo image.

"He _is_ giving a thumbs up!"

"He knew you were taking a holo."

"And he let me take it."

Silence descended. Then both exclaimed, "Is he hot or what?"

Fin

Again, this one isn't as funny as I wanted it to be but it is good enough. Sorry for the total pile of pooh this one is.


	3. Where?

**Title:** Where?  
**Author:** Jedi Bubbles  
**Rating:** PG  
**Period:** NJO or post NJO  
**Genre:** one-shot  
**Summary:** Inspired from the #78: Where? theme. It's about Kyp again but with a bit on Wes Janson.

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"Hello?"

"Hi–i."

"Hey, where are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Now you have to tell me. So, where are you?"

My sister got tickets to the Pilot's Ball and graciously invited me to come along."

"So… Where are you?"

"Uhh, at the Pilot's Ball. Duh."

"No way! Is everyone there?"

"Yes! Everyone who's anyone is here!"

"Jagged Fel? Gavin Darklighter? Wes Janson?"

"Yes, yes, and what?"

"He's good-looking in an impish older man sort of way."

"Ri–i–ight. Guess who else is here?"

"Who?"

"Kyp Durron."

"Ooh, is he in uniform?"

"Yes, and let me tell you, Colonel Fel can't fill his out nearly as well."

"Holo! Holo! Take a holo! Wait, you do have a holocam, right?"

"Of course I do. It's in my purse."

"Thank goodness. Get as many shots from as many different angles as you can."

"Don't worry. I have one memory card reserved for him and two others for everything else. There's a cool ice stature made from beer. At least, that's what this one pilot told me."

"Yay! Could you possibly get one of Wes Janson? He'd probably pose for you. You won't have to sneak one."

"All right, you did go to that Jumping Womp Rats concert with me. I owe you that much."

"Thanks. Don't forget to get a holo of Kyp's bum."

"Roger. See ya later."

"Bye."

Fin

This one wasn't only about Kyp and I'm sorry for that. Hopefully y'all liked it despite that fact.


	4. When?

**Title:** When?  
**Author:** Jedi Bubbles  
**Rating:** PG  
**Period:** NJO or post-NJO  
**Genre:** one-shot  
**Summary:** This is Kyp's point of view during "Who?". It's a bit of a stretch for the number the theme When, which is #79, in case anyone was wondering. Enjoy.  
**Notes:** By the way, this is actually the one I didn't think was stinky. I loved this one. Hopefully y'all will like it, too.

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"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

"What d'you mean?"

"It feels like someone's watching me."

"Kyp, I think you're being paranoid."

"I am not. Someone's watching me."

"You're over-reacting."

"I am not!"

"Kyp, what are you looking for? There's no one there."

"There are people at that café. Let's walk that way."

"Kyp, no, I'm going to be late. Hey, let go of my hand!"

"Stop struggling, Jaina. Act natural. We don't want to let them know we're on to them."

"That's the last time I let you have four consecutive cups of caf mixed with energy drink while watching spy holos."

"Slow down a bit."

"I would if you stopped tugging on my hand."

"My legs are longer than yours. How are you going faster than me?"

"Because I'm having to skip every other step so you won't drag me."

"Oh, sorry."

"You aren't sorry."

"I know." There was a sharp clap. "Ow, hey! No hitting!"

"_And he has a nice butt." _

"_You're right. It is nice."_

"Wonder whose butt they're talking about."

"Definitely not yours."

"Well, Jaina, that wasn't very nice. Besides, you know you like my butt."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Hah! So you do like my butt!"

"Shut up, Kyp."

Fin

I'm hoping you guys liked this one. It was fun. Chances are you guys won't like it.


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